Love Will Endure

Time has no meaning
Love will endure
-
My soul will find yours

I just finished reading A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux and it really lifted me from the slump I've been in all day. The main character was a woman I found I could relate to in the sense where she was constantly giving herself, hoping if she loved enough that things would end up good for her. Yet she was constantly being abused and taken advantage of by the men she was with because she allowed it and after having her heart broken so many times a man from medieval times shows up and thus begins their impossible romance. The passion they share and the pure enjoyment of each others' company is something I think everyone would want in their relationship. Fighting against the odds. Dealing with all the consequences. Trusting someone completely. Doing everything and anything in your power to try and provide the best for the one you love even when there is no gain for you. It's all romanticized and many would say impossible to find but the stupid thing is, I really do believe love is supposed to be that beautiful. That quote that says that love is really everything its cracked up to be, I believe it.



Kris and I had another one of our fall-outs last night. I guess it could have been worse. There has definitely been worse. But he came home from work tonight and jested lightly about turning on the TV while I was reading. He told me to go upstairs with him so we could eat dinner. He came to sit on the futon with me and allowed me to use his phone. It's like the white flag is flying almost immediately. People think I'm a fool and that he''s a fool for being together this long. Going through so much drama. So much pain. Heart attacks. Suicide. Moving away. New relationships. We have seen so much together I don't know how much more there could be. I ache without him more than I will ever ache with him. It's like he has this invisible grasp on me and without him, I really feel incomplete. Without him there to tease me. Without him there to catch me. Or push me. Without him there playing some game. Or talking about something technical I have to strain to understand.

I would miss all of his quirks. How there are "bed" clothes and "outside" clothes. And how his most expensive of things can only be touched in a certain way. I would miss how he always wants my company when he smokes or showers. How he can excel at everything and how he can make the world laugh. How great he dances. How he pushes me to come out of my shell.

Love is ridiculous. And unexplainable.
And its lack of reason is its reason.

I am always with hope that the book holds true and that love will most definitely endure.